If You Missed The Part 9, Read It Here
John lay on his bed with his back, while his eyes were looking at the ceiling.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him.
He didn’t know what else to do. If dad was serious that he should leave the house, where will he go? Perhaps he shouldn’t have talked back at dad. He should have begged him and asked him for forgiveness.
But he didn’t see dad as that kind of man. He didn’t know how to beg dad for forgiveness.
The moment would be awkward.
He had never begged dad for forgiveness in his life.
Dad was really furious. And John was sure dad meant every word when he said that they should leave his house. He knew dad would be mad if he found out about his smoking but he had never intended for dad to find out. His friends had forced him into doing it. He had resisted them the first week but they had continued to pressure him. He had taken a drag and coughed. It was a wired feeling at first but he started liking, it calmed his confused nerves and served as a means of escape when his mind was chocked up in the confusion of what the future hold for him.
Somehow he didn’t care if dad would get hurt when he finds out. After all dad didn’t care. Nobody cared about what he was doing in the house. Nobody cared about how he felt, the changes he was going through as he turned into adult and nobody was there to answer that questions that bothered him.
Question like how he felt about women. His friends always told him about the girls they had been with and how it felt.
He wanted to have a feel of what his friends felt. They had encouraged him to talk to Susie. Susie was the girl all his friends knew he had a crush on. He had been afraid she would say no. but they had continued to encourage him and without knowing what to say or how to act he had gone to her and she had said no. he had felt very bad. His friends had laughed at him.
They had told him that he will never have a girl of his own, he will never have sex. This had affected his self esteem. He had felt ugly and unwanted. And when he comes home, nobody cared. Nobody in the whole world liked him.
But he still had his friends; at least they listened to him. He needed to prove to them that he wasn’t a loser. He wanted to feel accepted and he wanted to feel among. He wanted to prove to them that he wasn’t a loser. They mustn’t reject him. If they reject him, he would be all alone in the whole world. He might commit suicide.
All his friends had had sex except him. He really wanted to. He had been so curious especially after watching all the pornographic pictures and movies.
One of his friends had suggested they go to a brothel. He had waited after school and when it was getting late they had gone to a brothel and there he had had sex. He had come home that day feeling weird.
He felt like a changed man. Still nobody noticed him, nobody cared.
Yes his results were bad and he had been missing classes. But he didn’t understand why he didn’t care. Somehow he had wanted our parents to see that his results were bad so that they might notice him. It all started as a result of an unconscious yearning for attention. But it didn’t work. Yet the missing class act had unconsciously become a habit that he could no longer control. He started enjoying it, finding no pleasure in attending classes. He felt guilty but it dint change anything. He could always rationalize and tell himself that he owed no one any explanation for his action.
He never for once thought his father would find out. How could he have known that the key would be missing this Monday morning and everything about his life style would be brought into the open? He remembered the anger on dad’s face. Yes, dad was never a cheerful man especially around his family, but the way he felt today was quite different. The old man was hurt, deeply hurt.
John felt both anger and pity for dad. It was mixed emotion. But his young mind couldn’t come up with possible way of escaping this neither could he think of what next to do if dad actually sent him out of the house.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have exchanged words with dad.
Ada sat on the stool in her room, very close to her dressing table. She was crying. She felt dirty and cheap. She had never taken time to reflect on her behavior lately. Of course she had no reason to. She had been carried away by the wind, the wind of pleasure and fun.
Ada remembered the first day she met Mike. She had thought he was a 300 level student and he had helped her when she was having difficulty with her registration especially during her online registration at the business center that was in the school environment. Mark had appeared and saved her from a lot of embarrassment.
He seemed to know a lot about the school environment and how to handle any issue. He was there for her when she misplaced her receipt and he helped her in getting familiar with the school environment. She liked the way the seemed to take charge of his environment, hence she saw him as dependable.
She had always wanted to have somebody she could look up to. Someone who could make her feel secured. Best of all he had proclaimed his love for her. This was something she had always yearned for, to be loved.
She had already fallen deep in love with Mike when she discovered that he wasn’t really a student. He was one of the ‘problem’ students, students who were given indefinite suspension because of some cult activities. Ada couldn’t leave him even with this development.
She didn’t think she would get anybody who could love her the way Mike did, she could do anything for him.
Then the demand for money and attention started. He would want her to stay with him not minding that she would miss her lectures. He would ask for money and threaten to leave her if she didn’t bring it. She couldn’t just leave the love of her life so she would ensure that she met his never ending demands. She knew he was a wrong company for her, but the experience of feeling wanted was all that really mattered.
Mike was not the first guy to introduce her to sex. She had had it with a boy who had professed love just after Ada had written her WAEC. But he had broken her heart right after she had given in to his demand to for sex. That was the beginning of the feeling of emptiness somewhere within her. She had nobody to talk to even before and after she the sex.
There was nobody to help her build herself worth.
But Mike made her feel important. He took her to parties. Introduced her to his friends and they all accepted her. She felt he was worth missing lectures for.
Now she felt scared and for the first time in a long time she allowed her mind to actively wonder if her relationship with Mike was doing her any good. She seemed like a lost person who didn’t know where she was heading to. She had seemed to have forgetting why she entered higher institution in the first place.
She might have had no close relationship with mum and dad but she sure needed them for survival. Getting them mad had never been her intention and now dad was threatening to send her away. That was scary. She never knew home was important; she had always detested it.
The thought of being pregnant was even scarier. She was late and this was the third day. She didn’t know what Mike would do if he realizes that she was carrying his baby; somehow Ada was sure that he would deny her.
What would she do? ! Who will she go to? ! What will become of her?
WATCH OUT FOR PART 11